I’ve put off writing this post for a while, as it hits close to home. When they said don’t mix business with pleasure, or friendship, there’s some truth to it. After all, Cliches are cliches for a reason. Unfortunately, I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way, costing me a friendship in the process.
I pride myself on being frugal when it comes to the matters of money. I fear to spend money to the point that I feel financially paralysed, making sure I have money tucked away into my savings. It’s not because I don’t think I deserve good things, if you’re a long time reader of Bumascloset, you’d know I love to indulge in a bit of luxury from time to time. It’s because I’m always anxious about not having enough, plus I tend to think about rainy days.
This problem stems from my childhood, growing up my mum and I went through an ordeal of moving from places to places, with little to no money. She was a single mother, whose family disown because of having a child out of wedlock and converting her religion from being a Muslim to Christian. Although Time was tough, she made sure I had the essentials before she considered herself. Giving me money for school, prepping my meals every morning, made sure I got the best education by sending me to private schools and paying the fees on time. She bent over backwards for me and still does. Our experience has taught me how to save money because there are times I knew we were struggling financially, that I’d bring my tucked away money just to help us survive that day, weeks, or month.
Also, One of my pet-peeve is owing to people money. To be honest, I’d rather starve to death than ask my friends for money, or let them know about my financial situation. Thus Far, I’ve let my guard down all in the name of friendship. A money situation transpired between myself and a friend, that turned nasty, bringing up unresolved issues that tipped our friendship over the edge, to the point that it dissolved our bond. During this period, the situation stirred up emotions within me, and questions I still don’t have the answers. Why is it that when it comes to the matter of money, it shakes the core of friendships, creating miscommunication between two individuals, evoking nasty attitudes you thought you’d never experience, or is the foundation of the friendship not as strong as you thought it was.
As an adult, people need to cut their clothes according to their earnings. A responsible person would know when to slow down on their spending, especially when they have lots of outgoings. Sometimes, we might have weak moments, placing value on unnecessary outgoings, instead of investing in our growth. In all honesty, I’ve had my weak moments, but thanks to my mother advice, and clarity on what I want in the future, I’ve had to train myself to put some money away, not just for rainy days, but for my future. After all, I’m not getting any younger, and I need to start adulting.
I’ve learned not to let things and people talk me into situations that would be strenuous on my finances. I’ve had to turn down moving in with friends, travelling because there are important things in life that need to come first. There’s time for everything, and patience is key. There’s a saying Yoruba’s that goes ma tete jaye ko ba je pe, tete jaye ko ma ba je pe meaning delay to enjoy life so that you can enjoy it for long, start to enjoy life early would prevent you to enjoy life for long.