Movies love depicting the perfect friends-with-benefits scenario with an happily-ever-after ending for hopeless romantics like me. If you found yourself reading this post, then I’m sure you’re either considering an FWB situation, looking for the pros and cons, or wondering if I’m part of the 20% women that can have a casual fling without getting attached.
His behaviour changed, prompting me to end our arrangement.
Freshly out of the ordeal with the guy I lost my virginity to, soon to be the third year student, and a creative person with daddy issues, I jumped back into the dating scene to get over the situation. At my attempt to brush things off, I swore off having sexual ties with another human. However, I found myself agreeing to an arrangement that resulted in going down the celibacy root that lasted two years.
It’s human nature to seek comfort in the arms of those you trust when life isn’t going as planned, especially when the person you liked broke things off by blocking you on every communication platform. Deeply affected by the situation, I sought after a guy friend for a shoulder to lean on. However, he quickly became the guy I called whenever I got horny. At the time, he was getting over a girl, and exploring other options while I was still trying to get over the situation. We weren’t match made in heaven, nor did we want to be.
If you’ve read my posts, it’s obvious that I’m a safety girl who would take actions to keep myself sexually clean and take precautions to avoid pregnancy mishap. After the second encounter, I went to the sexual health clinic to get a routine test. On my way home, I suggested that he should also get checked out if he wants to continue our arrangement. He agreed but refused to speak with me for two weeks because he felt humiliated when he got tested. Confused, I shrugged it off. One night, we were on the phone, he might have said, or done something idiotic to which I responded by saying I was beginning to like him. As soon as I uttered those words, his behaviour changed, prompting me to end our arrangement.
A couple of months later, I was informed by a person via social media that my FWB tweeted the guy I lost my virginity, asking him if he knew me, and continued their conversation in the DMs. Annoyed and appalled, I confronted my FWB via email, asking why he would contact my first, but he ignored me. Later that evening, I checked his twitter page, only to see a tweet about me saying is it my fault you’re not wifey material. Immediately, I informed my friends of the situation, to which they advised I should let it go.
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