A few years ago, I laughed hysterically at Charlotte’s melodramatic reaction when the guy she was dating asked for anal sex. I vividly recall discussing this episode of Sex and the city with my friend, wondering why anal sex is a thing, and thinking about how messy the act must be.
Although I was fifteen and a virgin when I watched the episode, I remember hearing stories about girls who would rather have anal sex than lose their virginity. The more stories I heard, the more anal sex sounded repulsive. Ever since, I vowed never to try it.
Fast forward to six months ago, all that changed when I started dating a married guy. We were in the act of making love, doggy position to be exact when he suggested anal sex. My mind went blank and my body froze. The first thing that came to my mind was Charlotte’s quote “I don’t want to be the up-the-butt girl because I mean men don’t marry the up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can’t. I want children and nice bedding and I just can’t handle this right now.” But I kept calm and said maybe next time.
On my way home, I kept thinking what possessed him to ask such a thing. Why does he want to have Anal sex? After pondering the situation for hours, I asked my friends their thoughts, some were against it, while others felt it was an act you reserve for your husband.
Nonetheless, I got on the phone to him that evening and I told him that I’m open to exploring other sexual fantasies, however, anal sex isn’t on the cards. A week later, we met up, ate, talked and had sex the traditional way. Just the way I like it.
Its fine if you enjoy or want to have anal sex but I would prefer to stick to other sexual pleasures such as BDSM. What about you?