A new set of priorities come in when you’re in your twenties, trying to figure out the best routes for life, career and love wise. With each little surprises that pop up, we accept and embrace them which can sometimes throw a spanner in the works in another aspect of our lives. Our purpose in life is to find the love of our lives and procreate. Some do it earlier in life while others do later in life.
Either way, we can’t ignore the impact it causes in our friendships and relations with people around us. The inevitable fear of making schedule plans with our friends strikes when we hear that they are expecting a bundle of joy. You feel the friend you make spontaneous plans, would be lost to motherhood, coming up for air once in a while. The truth is that will happen, testing the strength of your friendship in the process.
Writing from experience, I have two friends with kids, and one currently expecting her child in my birth month, I’ve learnt to adjust my needs when it comes to my friends, as they play important roles in my life. With each parties experiencing different feelings, it’s expected to feel misunderstood and irritated. Your friend’s with the kid will lose themselves with their new responsibility, while you feel the drift because your priorities with them don’t align anymore.
You can get easily irritable when the topic of conversation is always about the baby needs and wants while they get frustrated of being misunderstood which will push them to make friends with other mums that will understand their situation better. A situation like this often prompt patients and flexibility. One of my friends became a parent in her late teen, and our friendship is stronger than ever.
Throughout her transition period, we often had brunch, and lunch dates as a way of spending time with each other. On days she couldn’t catch up, I understood. However, she met me half way coming to events and things that were important to me, trying to be a good friend and it was appreciated. In honesty, people’s response to motherhood is impossible to predict. Depending on your personalities and characteristics, your friendships will either end or get stronger. It’s all about balance. To my friends with babies, you’re not alone. You’re doing an incredible job as a mother.